How to Plan a Bachelorette Party

A step-by-step guide

Planning a bachelorette party can be a daunting and exciting process. Between personalities, budgets, and an ever-increasing list of potential options for food, drinks and activities, it can be hard to know where to start. You may have tons of etiquette questions like: “Who is supposed to pay for the party?” “Who gets invited?” “Do I need to mail invites?”

I have counseled countless maids of honor and their bride squads over the years. Today I’m a professional “sleepover lady,” but in my former career I planned and coordinated weddings and events professionally in Salem and the surrounding area for 15 years. When it comes to planning a bachelorette party, let’s just say, I know how to party.

Enough about me. The important question is: Do YOU know how to party?

I have created this basic guide to help make the bachelorette planning process easier and give you confidence to get started with useful ideas and advice. So let’s dive right in!

 Step 1: Talk to the bride to figure out guest list and preferences

Before doing anything, you should discuss what she wants and who she wants at her bachelorette party. There are so many different options of activities to do for her bachelorette party and so many things to take into consideration BEFORE you start. Ask her what she had in mind, and themes or activities she would like. Was she hoping for something adventurous and fun, relaxed and bonding, intimate and memorable, or wild and raucous? Does she want to go out of town? Go out or stay in? Does she want to try something new?

Be sure to consider the general size of the group. A Bachelorette party for 4 will likely be a different experience entirely than a party of 20.

The ages and personalities of the bride’s guest list will also definitely be key in deciding what sort of activities you will plan. Being considerate in this area will go a long way towards making sure everyone feels valued and included in the celebration.

So the question may arise of: who is expected to be on the guest list? All bridesmaids are a MUST, but Jr. bridesmaids are optional and would likely require adjustment in planned activities. Be sure to include Jr. bridesmaids in the wedding shower and other bridesmaid activities. Additional family members and close friends may be a good idea, such as the bride’s new sister in-law or her cousins, but leave that up to her. Coed bachelorette parties or parties including Moms may be less common but certainly not unheard of, adjust activities accordingly.

Finally, you’ll want to ask her about the personalities of those on her guest list if they are strangers to you. A group of mostly introverted women likely won’t enjoy an evening at a karaoke bar, while a group of outgoing young ladies may find a wine and painting party to be a little slow- paced.

You should have at least a general idea of what the bachelorette party will look like and a short list of potential activities going into the next step.

Step 2: Contact attendees to decide on the best date, time and budget

Poll the guests for potential dates for the occasion, keeping in mind out of town travel etc. Because the last days of wedding planning can be so hectic, I recommend this date be 1-4 months before the wedding and not later, as a rule, but obviously there are many situations where that just isn’t workable.

Who is supposed to pay for the bachelorette party? There is no real traditional etiquette here other than the bride should NEVER pay for her own bachelorette party. Discuss budget with the group and what everyone is able to contribute financially. The bride’s food and drinks etc. will usually be split between the group. It is most common for the group to split the cost of activities, transportation, food and drink, however, in rarer occasions, if feasible, the costs may be covered by the hostess(es). Another option is for the main activities to be covered by the hostess while individual drinks are paid for by the guests. Remember that the bridesmaids are likely already paying for their wedding party attire and other incidentals related to the wedding. Take everyone’s unique financial situation into account when choosing your activities, locations and travel accommodations. Once a budget is agreed upon, stick to it, unless you are willing to pay for the difference yourself. Do not surprise the group with new costs to avoid unnecessary drama.

Step 3: Choose themes, activities and events and hire services OR plan locations

Now that you have your guest list, budget, and a date pretty firmly in place it’s time to make serious decisions and put down any deposits. Here are some unique bachelorette party ideas to get you started:

Sleepover

Pub Crawl / Club Hopping

Food truck/restaurant crawl

Hire a Wine/Food/Beer Tour

Wine tasting

Shopping

Group Hike

Picnic

Rent a Party Bus/Limo

Board Game Night

Drinking Games

Themed Pot Luck

Wedding Movie Night

Scavenger Hunt

Hot Air Balloon Ride

Book a River Cruise

Private dance lesson

Book an escape room

Book a craft studio or craft at home

Take a cooking class

Take a Floral arranging class

Improv class

Rent a party boat

Rent a kayak

Go to the beach

Pool Party

Water Park

Camping

Bowling

Schedule a shooting lesson at a gun range

Take a class in self-defense

Paintball

Mixology Class

Lazertag

Mini-golf

Spa Day or DIY spa treatments

Shopping

Book a vacation rental

Go on a retreat

Volunteer as a group

Brunch

Have a Tea Party

Karaoke

“Stock The Bride’s Boudoir” Party

Makeovers

Group themed photo shoot

Go to a fair, festival or amusement park

Go to a casino

Attend a comedy show

Attend a concert

Get professional massages

Go on a road trip

Go to the beach

“Make your own pizza” party

Step 4: Send Invites

A bachelorette party is typically a much more informal occasion than the wedding or even the wedding shower so traditional printed invitations are not expected, though for a more formal bachelorette they certainly are a nice touch. The most important thing is to communicate all the details.

You may go as simple as a group text message, email or send an e-card with all the details. Your “invitation” should include all the following details:

-Date and Time

-Theme (If applicable)

-Weather or not gifts are expected. Gifts are usually not expected at a bachelorette party, though guests may opt to bring gag gifts, a card or “grown-up” gifts they would not otherwise feel comfortable giving the bride at the wedding shower. Some bachelorette parties may include a mini-shower of lingerie or similar items for the bride. On rare occasions, the bachelorette party is somewhat combined with the wedding shower, in those instances, you may wish to include the bride’s gift registry information.

-Dress code (if applicable) If you are doing an outdoor group activity you may wish to remind guests to dress comfortably and bring walking shoes. A resort trip may require a reminder to bring a bathing suit. For certain themes or a group photo shoot, perhaps a costume or themed outfit may be in order. Even just wearing matching colors and anything that identifies your group as a bachelorette party can be a fun addition to the night that may result in free drinks.

-Brief itinerary of scheduled activities

-Transportation details (if applicable) Planning transportation in advance absolutely key when choosing activities that will involve drinking.

Step 5: Follow Up On RSVPS

Follow up on everyone who does not RSVP and for those who do, still send a few friendly reminders. For all small gatherings I like to send my reminders 1 month, 1 week and 2 days out.

Step 6: Create a backup plan.

For outdoor activities, have a backup indoor activity in case of rain or stock up on umbrellas. Consider what options you have if some guests do not show up. Are there any alternate days you could have the party if you had to reschedule for sickness or other issue?

Step 7: Plan secondary items (optional)

These are secondary party ideas, but add a nice touch to the celebration.

-Consider special gifts for the guests like spa robes, matching T-shirts, or props, costume peices and party favors that identify you are a bachelorette party when you are out on the town.

-A party playlist if you will all be traveling together or staying in together, may help you to set the desired mood. 80s jams anyone?

-Additional decor, party favors, food and drinks for an at-home gathering. If you are planning a bachelorette party at home you may consider balloons or other decorations though they certainly are not required for everyone to have a good time. An at-home gathering may also include additional food and drink planning, but may be cheaper than many other bachelorette party options. If you don’t have a professional bartender, perhaps you may want to create a signature cocktail yourself or a pitcher of margaritas. If you don’t opt for professionally catered food, there are still many ready-made grocery store options.

Step 7: Have an amazing Bachelorette Party!

A few final tips:

-When dining and drinking in a large group, don’t forget to let your server know in advance if you will have separate tabs.

-Tip wait staff, drivers, bartenders and similar professionals generously, large groups can be hard to cater to.

-Relax and have a good time.

-As fun as bachelorette parties are for all involved, try not to loose sight that the celebration is really about honoring the bride in a really unique and female-empowering way.

I hope you are now well equipped and excited to plan an amazing bachelorette party!

Authored by Grace Cooper;

Owner of Easy Does It Events and 15 year wedding planning expert.